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Pet Rocks
By Euphrates
Pet Rocks Pet Rocks represented everything beautiful and everything lamentable about America in the '70s. The phenomenon was a real life Kings New Clothes except that the townspeople (the American consumer) were celebrating the fact that the King (also the American consumer) was sporting air instead of flares and a polyester shirt with wide lapels. The crooked "tailors" in this story would be Rock Bottom Productions. If you are asking "What is Kings New Clothes?" then go please locate a collection of children's stories and fables. If you are asking "What is a Pet Rock?" then read on.

Pet Rocks were made by Gary Dahl's Rock Bottom Productions in 1975. They were essentially a small stone in a nest of shredded paper packaged in a plain-looking box with air holes. It came with documentation explaining how to feed and take care of your new pet. People bought truckloads of them at $3.95. Virtually everyone that worked at a desk had one. Any occasion that required a small gift was consummated with a Pet Rock.

If you weren't foolish enough to buy one when they were on store shelves the first time, you can buy a vintage one now for $15 to $25. The great thing is that they almost always have their original boxes and packaging. You can also buy a Pet Rock music video from 1985 or a Pet Rock Pendant (rock on a chain). Go ahead. It's your constitutional right.

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